I HATE MYSELF!"!!

[Jackson Monk]

Ok, so you all think you're so great..with your 5000 CDs collections, extensive knowledge of French 1940s movies and the fine wines of the world. You read 20 post modern novels per week and hold down a great job in the music industry whilst parenting perfect children who eat healthily and aspire to be dental technicians. You make me sick......being imperfect is more fun for me.....here is my list:

1. I say the phrase 'absolutely' too much
2. I am embarrassingly untidy - (my car is a skip and my office a teenager's bedroom)
3. I always forget where i left my keys/wallet/mobile and spend half the day searching for them before realising they were in my jacket all along
4. I get depressed becasue I have too much to do and then become so disabled by depression that I do even less.
5. I can't do DIY
6. I waste too much money on....well...everything really.
7. I am going bald
8. I drink too much red wine and then wonder why my I flirt shamelessly with attractive (and not so attractive) women - no men as yet, but give it time.
9. I kid myself I quit smoking years ago and only smoke 'social' cigars
10. No matter how hard I exercise, I can't get rid of my 'bitch tits'
11. When I have too much to drink at dinner parties I become 'honest' with people - a bad move.
12. I once bought a Status Quo album and have lived with the guilt all my life. I also shook my head to 'Rocking all over the world' - another alcohol related crime.


Excuse me whilst I kill myself, you perfect bastards!

[verbal gymnastics]

Jackson - a lot of that is just part of being old and being male.

Although I can't forgive number 12. Absolutely not

[mood swung]

I'm with you on 1, 2, 4-6, 8 (except substitute white wine or even the shabby blush wines or beer), 10 (only I'm wondering where mine went), and 11.

I also own a Billy Joel album. but it was a gift!!!


My dream is to prepare one meal where no one asks 'can I have something else?'

[El Vez]

You are not alone in your darkness, Jackson.

I clutter up my speech with excessive use of the word "again," my hairline is receding and I almost always have to apologize to someone after a night of heavy drinking which is why I try to avoid getting anything more than pleasantly tipsy. I'd commiserate more but I lack your courage.

[miss buenos aires]

I pretend my personal hygiene habits are better than they are.

I hide things at work that I don't feel like doing and hope everyone else forgets about them.

[El Vez]

I once tried to boil a half-dozen whole potatoes in a three inch deep glass pan. In the oven.

[verbal gymnastics]

Don't worry. I got something wrong once but still went on to live a happy and wholesome life.

[pip_52]

I am of the firm belief that self-loathing is the path to true enlightenment. Or, thats what I tell myself, anyway ...

I tend to only clean my apartment on an "as needed - or slightly after that" basis. My diet consists more or less solely of hot pockets and mac and cheese. I watch The OC even though I know its wrong. I wish I could write something but alas, I am a talentless hack with no self-discipline. I dont know who Jackie Greene is, nor do I own any albums by Squeeze or Bruce Springsteen.

I have plenty more but I can barely admit them to myself, so sharing them with the world is a little out of the question ...

[Emotional Toothpaste]

Charles Bukowski once said, "Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually dirty kitchen, and 5 times out of 9 I will show you an exceptional man".

[Mr. Average]

For the most part, I avoid reality TV altogether. However, I'll admit to becoming hooked on the most unlikely of prospects served to the market that loves Reality TV, and that is "Hell's Kitchen". The premise is patently absurd, there is next to no objectivity in who makes it and who gets cut, and the scripting is heavily contrived. Nonetheless, and for some inexplicable reason, I look forward to it every week and find that my palms get sweaty during the elimination.

It is a contest to train and select a final "Master Chef" winner from a panel of a motley crew of contestants, so of whom have culinary experience, but most of which have an cooking experience base that is as silly as trying to boil potatoes in a glass bowl in an oven...can you imagine?

I enjoy watching Greta Van Sistern sensationalize everything on her Fox show, even when there is NOTHING sensational going on.

And I think the Craig (Greg?) Ferguson character who replaced Kilborn on the Late Late Show is absolutely hilarious. If you caught his anti-Cruise rant the other night, it was priceless. Funny guy, from where he comes I haven't a clue.

[BlueChair]

Scotland.

And he used to play the boss on The Drew Carey Show

[bobster]

My reputation on this board notwithstanding, I actually don't do #8 nearly enough.

And I'm betting big American $$ (well, not as big as they used to be, especially against the Euro, but anyway.....) that my room, and my desk at work, are even less tidy than yours!

And, and re: #7. I'm obviously past "going bald" and well into "balding" but Rogaine/Minoxidil does, in fact, more or less arrest the progress of baldness though rarely reversing it. I'd have been a cueball long before if not for it. So, especially EV, there's still time. And it's cheap! (Rite Aid sells a three month supply of the Extra Strength Generic for $39.99!)

[DrSpooky]

I once tried to boil a half-dozen whole potatoes in a three inch deep glass pan. In the oven.

Did it work?

I once lost 180 pounds of ugly fat. Amazing what a divorce will do for one's health.

[invisible Pole]

Jackson, I'm with you on 5. Hammer and nail are not my cup of tea.
And I can't drive.
And my beer-belly is getting bigger by the week.
And yes, I own Billy Joel's "The Stranger".

But I'm not going bald.
Yet.

[El Vez]

I once tried to boil a half-dozen whole potatoes in a three inch deep glass pan. In the oven.

Did it work?

No, fortunately I was in the kitchen with someone who knew what they were doing. The story did have a happy ending because the resulting casserole was quite good.

[Otis Westinghouse]

I still love you, Jackson, and when we next get together, let's work on no. 8 a little, OK?

[PlaythingOrPet]

Would you like the famous t-shirt to go with that declaration, Jackson? http://store1.yimg.com/I/engrish-store_1844_2154731

Instead of staying to watch The Futureheads do Hounds of Love at Glastonbury, I decided to see a band called Kangaroo Moon and nearly lose a Wellington boot in the process. For this, I hate myself.

[Mr. Misery]

I once lost 180 pounds of ugly fat. Amazing what a divorce will do for one's health.

That's a disgraceful thing to say. God knows I have a lot to be ashamed about. I'll share it on another occasion. The thread is about why we hate ourselves, not our hatred for others--such as yours for the woman you once loved enough to marry and have children with.

Will people rush to defend you because you're the administrator?

[noiseradio]

I'll rush to defend him because it's his business (as opposed to, say...yours) how he speaks about his ex-wife.

[Mr. Misery]

If someone had quoted the passage and said bravo you would have no problem with that. But since I found it an ugly thing to say suddenly it's his business and no one must say boo to a Spooky. He posted it on a public forum and I have a right to react.

I don't expect anyone will support me.

[SweetPear]

OH C'MON, KEEP IT COMING PEOPLE!!!!!!! I'm slowly starting to feel not so alone.
There are way too many similarities between my list and yours, Jackson...... although I do put extra emphasis on #4, 5 and 6.

[Jackson Monk]

I once lost 180 pounds of ugly fat. Amazing what a divorce will do for one's health.

That's a disgraceful thing to say. God knows I have a lot to be ashamed about. I'll share it on another occasion. The thread is about why we hate ourselves, not our hatred for others--such as yours for the woman you once loved enough to marry and have children with.

Will people rush to defend you because you're the administrator?

Well it made me laugh!

[Gillibeanz]

OK since it seems to be confession time here are a few of my faults:-

1/ Im way too soft for my own good - people take advantage of that
2/ I cant abide clutter and have massive 'everything must go' throwouts and if im in a temper about it nothing gets rescued out of the bin bags!
3/ I have very low self esteem and convince myself im no good at anything
4/ Im not going bald (thank god) but I refuse to cut my long hair - probably stems back from childhood when my mum frogmarched me to the hairdressers and forced me to have a haircut like a boy for most of my childhood until I could fight back!
5/ I have the memory of a goldfish - it drives me and others mad
6/I am so embarrassingly bad at maths (and still are) that at school all I could do was write my name on the exam papers and do the first couple of easy sums

I could go on but I dont want to bore the pants off you all.......

Ok now we have all depressed ourselves with our defects what about a thread on what we are good at (and good for!)??

[verbal gymnastics]

I still love you, Jackson, and when we next get together, let's work on no. 8 a little, OK?

Am I misinterpreting this or does Otis want Jackson to flirt with him shamelessly? It's the "no men as yet, but give it time" bit that's confusing me

Gilli - I've got a terrible memory and I'll tell you another thing; I've got a terrible memory

[Gillibeanz]

VG: I was going to reply to your post - but ive forgotton what it was I was going to say...........