i never

Otis Westinghouse · Post by **Otis Westinghouse** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:27 pm

I've never lit a firework (and I intend to keep it that way).

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:27 pm

I've never seen a trunk full of dead hookers.

Oh hi Doc! Oh. Oh......Oh. Nevermind.

LittleFoole · Post by **LittleFoole** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:08 pm

I've never commited adultery in Jimmy Carter's heart......LOL

LittleFoole · Post by **LittleFoole** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:09 pm

I never shot the sheriff....but I might've shot the deputy ...

LittleFoole · Post by **LittleFoole** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:10 pm

I never say "never say never"

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:28 pm

You just said it!

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:31 am

I've never voted Republican in a partisan election.

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 4:50 am

I've never stopped hating Thatcher.
I've never felt threatened by the beliefs of other board members.
I've never nearly been arrested on Christmas Eve babe.

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:07 am

I did a lot of the stuff you guys never did. You better hurry up cause I'm way ahead and I keep going.

Remember The Pusher?

Words and music by Hoyt Axton

You know I've smoked a lot of grass
O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills
But I never touched nothin'
That my spirit could kill
You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round
With tombstones in their eyes
But the pusher don't care
Ah, if you live or if you die

God damn, The Pusher
God damn, I say The Pusher
I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

You know the dealer, the dealer is a man
With the love grass in his hand
Oh but the pusher is a monster
Good God, he's not a natural man
The dealer for a nickel
Lord, will sell you lots of sweet dreams
Ah, but the pusher ruin your body
Lord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream

God damn, The Pusher
God damn, God damn the Pusher
I said God damn, God, God damn The Pusher man

Well, now if I were the president of this land
You know, I'd declare total war on The Pusher man
I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run
Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun

God damn The Pusher
Gad damn The Pusher
I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

© Irving Music Inc. (BMI)

(Steppin' Wolf, baby!)

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 11:34 am

so lacklustre wrote: I've never nearly been arrested on Christmas Eve babe.

Lucky you. It wasn't a good experience.

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:56 pm

spooky girlfriend wrote:You're right, Moody. Hell, that's why he purchased property in a state where you get to keep what you run over with your car. It's the only way he can hit a target.

and i hit it. twice. 6800 bucks worth. and then i ran over the big fat miserable bitch.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 1:01 pm

welcome to the 1K club, mr. slick.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 1:30 pm

Great avatar, Mood! I *love* the version of "Everything Is Cool" off that one and I usually try to listen to his duet w/ Cowboy Junkies on "If You Were The Woman" at least once a month.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 1:32 pm

thanks, El Vez. I've scoured the internet to find one that wasn't too huge (and I know it's slightly larger than reg, but I'll change it after the holiday, I promise, Dr. S!). I like the JP's christmas, where he nails the train tracks to the dining room table just because he could.

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:21 am

Moody's avatar reminds me that I've never swung a cat.

Nor have I ever tried throwing anyone, to see how far I could trust them.

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:03 pm

wow! me neither! I have put a laundry basket over a sleeping cat to see what he'd do when he woke up. That's pretty amusing.

crash8_durham · Post by **crash8_durham** » Sun Jan 01, 2006 8:23 am

This kind of fits here but bare with me.

The family that stems from my wifes sister was in town for the holidays. She and her husband have 3 boys and a total of 3 grandchildren. A bunch of them were at the house.

This group is not only famous for eating a lot but also for eating pretty much anything you can imagine. Things like snake or octopus or dirt from the ground are all on the menu. We have known this for years.

However this one still caught me off guard and I am still chuckling about it.

One of my nephews was at the table and the discussion of the fact that they will eat anythign started up.

He looks up and says "there's really only one thing I can't eat"

I was waiting to hear something such as brussel sprouts or raw liver but instead he calmly and totally seriously said.

"RIVER EEL"

What the hell is a river eel? Is that considered a food? Was he on Fear Factor or something?

He then said they just tasted a bit to muddy for him.

We all were falling out of our chairs laughing as my other sister in law calmly said (sarcasticly) "yeah I just can't keep those down either"

I am sure this was a lot funnier if you were here but to fit the thread.

I have never eaten river eel.

Happy New Year everyone

Extreme Honey · Post by **Extreme Honey** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:14 pm

I've never drove drunk and I've never had sex with the same gender.

Jackson Monk · Post by **Jackson Monk** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 7:13 pm

I've never read Catch 22 the whole way through (despite 3 attempts).

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:17 am

I never liked It's a Wonderful Life.

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:39 am

Extreme Honey wrote:I've never drove drunk and I've never had sex with the same gender.

You mean you've never had sex with a person of the same gender as yourself, or you've never had sex with a person of the same gender as the prior person with whom you enjoyed conjugal relations, i.e., following a pattern of boy-girl-boy-girl or girl-boy-girl-boy as the case may be? I kind of like the second version, as it's extremely democratic.

verbal gymnastics · Post by **verbal gymnastics** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 6:19 am

I've never listened to an album by Mariah Carey. Should I?

crash8_durham · Post by **crash8_durham** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 8:50 am

I have never sealed the grout in my bathroom

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 12:43 pm

verbal gymnastics wrote:I've never listened to an album by Mariah Carey. Should I?

No.

selfmademug · Post by **selfmademug** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 1:05 pm

I never really learned how to write in cursive script. This is quite helpful, as I can easily disguise my handwriting as that of a ten-yr-old just by writing in my 'best' script.

Elvis Costello Fan Forum

i never

Pointer

Done there, been that