Why My Ex Boyfriend Is a Jerk

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 12:44 pm

He had a very strange--if non-existent--sense of humor. Things that were funny to him were funny to absolutely no-one else.

He hated watching the BET channel because it offended him (never mind the fact that half the people in the house--2--were black)

He was obessively picky about the apartment being clean, yet left his clothes draped over furniture.

He always said he was going to quit smoking, yelled about my smoking in the house--or ashtrays being in the apartment--or smoking on the balcony--or anything even tangentially having to do with tobacco--and the next morning, my pack of smokes would be half empty.

He would do "nice things" for me, say he never expected anything in return, then get pissed when he didn't get what he thought he should--in return.

Would talk about shopping for clothes like Leon from that "Fashion Emergency" show. Like it was a dire situation if he didn't have shoes to match a shirt, and a belt to match the shoes, and a tie to match the...

Always says that when his stomach starts to stick out farther than his chest, he'll start working out. Doesn't seem to realize that his stomach does indeed stick out farther than his chest.

Great hands, but has arms like a 14 year old boy.

Got stupidly drunk one night, ripped the phone from the wall, stormed into the bedroom, picked me up and tossed me onto the bed so hard that I bounced off and landed hard on my shoulder. Still getting medical treatment for the injury. Wants to know why I haven't forgiven him. Thinks I'm being hateful. Also doesn't understand why being abused by one's significant other might do negative things to one's sex drive.

After being told that things weren't working out, demanded that I get out of the apartment immediately. Made me pay my half of the rent just the day before.

Asshole.

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 1:58 pm

This further comnfirms my theory that men are from another planet.

Sounds as though you are well rid and that he doesnt deserve you. I hope you find someone else to appreciate you soon - you are too smart and pretty to be on your own for long!

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 3:31 pm

She's decribing me about twenty years ago. Too bad there aren't "adulthood" classes in high school.

Your boyfriend is a jerk, and a lot of guys are. I'm not a jerk anymore, myself, because I've developed into an acrid prick. There's a lot of that going around, too.

Yee-Haw, life is fun. Don't let an asshole keep you from happiness. Cover it up and never look back.

lapinsjolis · Post by **lapinsjolis** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 4:43 pm

Please, please don't tell me this is the guy who you gave Elvis up for! Words have yet to be created for men like that. Unless you can sing with conviction 'I Feel Pretty' don't deign to waste you charm, intelligence and beauty on them. Mind you I'm single and 30 and in an off and on again sort of thing and am really alone. .

But don't settle. You deserve the best!

DrJ · Post by **DrJ** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 4:45 pm

And you went out with him for how long? Why? Was he loaded? Was because he was an emotional crutch or a support for your self esteem? {I doubt it, by the way) I'm just curious. You can tell me to mind my own business and go to hell if you want, but you posted all this first. The whole boy meets girl thing never fails to facinate.

Or to put it another way... "Is she really going out with him?"

Now I'm gonna turn into Dr.Phil... What would he post about you?

DrJ

PS You're better off, he sounds like an asshole etc. The only characteristic I could identify with was that my belly does seem to be further out than my chest (although I'm aware of the fact)

PlaythingOrPet · Post by **PlaythingOrPet** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 5:12 pm

Arms like a fourteen year old boy? Freaky asshole.

What makes you think SLC wants another one, Gillibeanz?

Fuck 'em, SLC.

double dutchess · Post by **double dutchess** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 5:48 pm

To hell with him. You're better off this way.

Might I suggest reading some Dorothy Parker. It helps me when I'm hurt (or bitter).

Hugs to you! You're going to be ok!

DrJ · Post by **DrJ** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 6:23 pm

HoHum. I guess this is the man-bashing phase of recovery. But I don't believe anyone who says "Fuck 'em".

DrJ

lapinsjolis · Post by **lapinsjolis** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 7:02 pm

Bashing the woefully unworthy Dr. J. This one happens to be a man. You've been gloomy lately. I hope you are only pining for Elvis' new record.

DrJ · Post by **DrJ** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 7:51 pm

Yeah, Elvis'll understand...

And as I said above above, he does indeed seem unworthy...

Just trying to maintain my usual life balance between optimism and cynicism....

Optimism: One will meet someone great.
Cynicism: One will make the same mistakes

Life's rich pagaent

DrJ

ice nine · Post by **ice nine** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 9:50 pm

Hey SLC - Sorry to hear about your problems. This, too, shall pass. Was he bipolar?

DrJ - I only own a few REM cds, but Life.... is my favorite

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 12:07 am

SLCandy~
Just from the few conversations we've had, I can see that you are such a strong, independant and positive person and there's no way you should give that creep a second thought.
Besides, you're a doll....the picture you posted is proof of that! Rah! rah!

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 12:28 am

I know this is off the subject
but someone mentioned above (DrJ) Joe Jackson~ 'Is She Really Going Out W/Him?'
As I was cleaning out the car that-my-son-uses-that's-mine-but-thinks-is- his, I came across MY 'Look Sharp' CD (which are btw, never in their CD cases because he takes them out and puts them all in a CD binder that he carries everywhere with him. And that's cool by me, but we have hundreds of CD's between us all...and we share....but I have this thing where I like to have MY CD's put back in their covers so I can:
a.) find them and
b.) FIND THEM!!)
ANYWAY..........I've been on this JJ jag and all I wanted to say was WHAT A GREAT RECORD!!!!

I was listening to it in the car and my 14yr old said, 'Mom, who is this?' I said Joe Jackson's Look Sharp...one of the coolest records ever made! I think I better burn him a copy because I don't think I'm gonna be able to find mine in it's case anymore.

Tim(e) · Post by **Tim(e)** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 1:30 am

Gillibeanz wrote:This further comnfirms my theory that men are from another planet.

By saying that you are also implying that women are from another planet, where men are concerned

I can understand the point being made that the ex was a jerk for using physical violence (which can never ever be condoned, and that alone should be reason enough for ending any relationship - regardless of which partner instigated the violence), but as for the rest of the problems.... they seem to have only become problems after the end of the relationship.

regards, Tim(e)...

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 3:34 am

TIME: Women are from Earth - men are from the planet Zog!

Seriously though we are talking about one arsehole here - there are plenty of men out there who only talk through them....

No really seriously this time before Im banned from the board by all the male members! Somewhere there is a sensitive kind caring considerate generous and tidy man who can cook clean iron and is romantic just waiting for you.....when you find him ask him if he has a brother for me please Candy!!

shabbydoll · Post by **shabbydoll** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 4:40 am

Yep, agree with everyone, don't give him a second thought.

PlaythingOrPet · Post by **PlaythingOrPet** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 6:09 am

If I want to bash then I'll bash. Some men are not worth the fucking time and effort. This sounds like one of them.

And no, I am not some weird Germain Greer-like misandrist.

Fuck 'em (for now).

Signed,

Listening-to-bad-mood-music Bunny

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 8:29 am

Thanks, guys. It means a lot to me that you all could join me in flipping the bird to my ex. He's not all bad--I'll be the first to admit it--and it's been incredibly hard for me to let go. But, there are a few lessons I have learned.

1. Mistakes often repeat themselves, if people don't learn from them. if I don't take this as a lesson, chances are that I'll end up with another asshole.

2. Friends care about you more than anyone. My friends and family have gathered around me and given me nothing but support. Gotta love people who love you.

3. People mourn for a relationship just like people mourn the loss of a loved one--that's what it is, essentially.

4. You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both, and there you have...a guy with arms like a 14 year old boy.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 12:58 pm

Men can be jerks. Women can be jerks. The most important thing here is not bashing every member of the tripod society....it's to bash this particular asshole who clearly does not need to breed or be invited to anyone's party.

Poppet · Post by **Poppet** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 5:14 pm

SoLikeCandy wrote:
1. Mistakes often repeat themselves, if people don't learn from them. if I don't take this as a lesson, chances are that I'll end up with another asshole.

2. Friends care about you more than anyone. My friends and family have gathered around me and given me nothing but support. Gotta love people who love you.

3. People mourn for a relationship just like people mourn the loss of a loved one--that's what it is, essentially.

4. You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both, and there you have...a guy with arms like a 14 year old boy.

yet more stuff that should be on the 'one true (here it's four) thing(s)' thread.

SLC, been there, done that. i'm impressed to see that you have the mourning part already. it took me way too long to figure that out.

people are strange. sometimes i think i'll never go on a date again, just to avoid the wierdness of it all.

LessThanZero · Post by **LessThanZero** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 7:05 pm

Sorry I'm engaged girls...

I only wish there was enough of me for everyone.

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:44 am

Gillibeanz wrote: Somewhere there is a sensitive kind caring considerate generous and tidy man who can cook clean iron and is romantic just waiting for you.....

Yes Gilli, and his name is Elvis Costello.
So Candy, when you find him I'm afraid I'm going to have to fight you for him.

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:48 am

No, seriously.....I'll have to fight you for him.

(j/k!)

(I think!)

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 7:25 am

Bring it on, sister! You wanna step outside?

Although, EC's way too short for me. I like a man I can look up to...

SweetPear · Post by **SweetPear** » Wed Jul 23, 2003 5:27 am

SoLikeCandy wrote:Bring it on, sister! You wanna step outside?

Although, EC's way too short for me. I like a man I can look up to...

Okay girl, then I think it's settled.....I like those little short guys.... cuz I'm a pretty short girl.

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