Life's a bitch and...

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:10 pm

fill in the blanks. "prizes" to the top 3.

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:22 pm

...and so's your wife.

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:23 pm

You beat me, SLC, I was going to say my husband's first wife though.

SoLikeCandy · Post by **SoLikeCandy** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:26 pm

Sorry, MC Spooky G.

I'll try to come up with another one...

...gimme a minute...

wehitandrun · Post by **wehitandrun** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:55 pm

... unless you scratch each and every itch."

King Hoarse · Post by **King Hoarse** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 3:57 pm

...and I'm a birch."

(A barkless tree would be metaphorically better but look worse, as do I with nothing on.)

lapinsjolis · Post by **lapinsjolis** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 4:00 pm

. . it's just had puppies.

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 4:21 pm

a sausage in a roll is a 'dog

Tim(e) · Post by **Tim(e)** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 5:36 pm

... she's on heat.

wehitandrun · Post by **wehitandrun** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 5:50 pm

I wish you'd take the "and" out of the end of the subject. It ruins mine!

laughingcrow · Post by **laughingcrow** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 5:55 pm

...death is your mother-in law.

Mr. Average · Post by **Mr. Average** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 8:05 pm

Life is a bitch and Time is her stool....

crash8_durham · Post by **crash8_durham** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 9:43 pm

I like,

Life's a pitch.....sell hard

better

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 11:42 pm

i was gonna say "she knows kung fu", but i've settled on "Gatlinburg isn't much better"

Copenhagen Fan · Post by **Copenhagen Fan** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 2:42 am

....accept it and take your life now before deep seeded pain kicks in.

maria · Post by **maria** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 7:27 am

...then we have Guantanamo

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 8:35 am

Mr. Average wrote:Life is a bitch and Time is her stool....

I'm sory, is that stool as in "kitchen stool," or stool as in "stool sample"?

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 9:14 am

And we're all pups.

ice nine · Post by **ice nine** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 10:16 pm

I've always heard it this way: Life's a bitch and then you die.

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:06 pm

the prizes suck?

Mr. Average · Post by **Mr. Average** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:38 pm

Ms. BA,

Both.

The poodle in the circus twirling precariously on its hind legs on a bar stool, fueled by the operant conditioning that links the decibel level of the applause to the number of doggie treats. Make a mistake and slip...NO TREATS FOR YOU!....

and;

Shit happens. To all of us. In time. If it hasn't really happened to you yet, it will. It's coming. Shit is on the way. Oh, I'm not talking about the anquish of the break-up with a first love, or the heartbreak of psoriasis. I'm talking megashit...bucket loads released in torrents that nearly drown you. And these are the defining moments of character that becomes the core of who we are. How have you handled the trainload of shit that rained down upon you, and your loved ones, like there was no tomorrow? For it is within the handling of large volumes of fecal matter that we define who we are.

And if this post seems ludicrous to you, or a bit over the top, then put on your seatbelt baby, because the manure train is just ahead, and it is about to derail right in your lap. Clearly, this last line has been influenced by the return of A Rope Leash. Consider it my homage to the great one of little faith. But, dammit, just like a carwreck at the "Y" of the 5 and the 405, I always stop to take a closer look everytime he posts. Hmmm, life is a bitch.

It works on many levels. Metaphysical Feces and Self Esteem...a Retrospective, longitudinal autobiography. Double-blind. No placebo. Just the facts , Ma'am. Just the facts.

And for teh record, Oh great Mr. Rope, I do not drink. However, sniffing glue remains a problem. But im wurken onn it,

Respect.

Gillibeanz · Post by **Gillibeanz** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 2:58 am

ice nine wrote:I've always heard it this way: Life's a bitch and then you die.

Naaaah you got it all wrong boy - lifes a bitch and then you marry one!!

maria · Post by **maria** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 1:48 pm

Mr. Average:

Try "Plumbers" listings in the Yellow Pages