I Dreamed That Elvis Costello Was My Dad (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

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bambooneedle
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I Dreamed That Elvis Costello Was My Dad (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Post by bambooneedle »

He was a kindly soul, picking me up from basketball training in our modest dark metallic olive-green Saab 90. The parents were there picking them up, but he wouldn't get involved people's dramas... didn't usually have the time 'cos he had a lot of things he wanted to do. It was hard being Elvis Costello's son... always on the go. He was nice enough about it, having most say. But if he'd get shitty, he might get cocky, And when we got to the studio he got cocky trying to demonstrate his new boxing prowess. It had been an important secret in the family that he'd just taken up Tae-Bo and boxing. So, when the Imposters, playing some ol' tune as usual, had been interrupted by Billy Blanks' tae-bo girlfriends "because BB can't make it to give Elvis another private 2 hour session down in the private room of his studio".... man, they were just dying for them to come back. And, three hours later, when dad was just catching his breath after going off on a bad guitar solo and then The Imposters continued getting extra comfortable with the girls, he goes off at me thinking he could take on Oscar De La Hoya! "Come on, you unctuous pussy... pick up the fuckin' gloves. Spar!" I mean, it totally belied his kindly, leisurely, down-with-the-salt-of-the-earth mentory smile that he'd give me. I was pretty sure I could kick his ass, and it's not as if following him around for most of his concerts (getting to make good bootlegs in the end there) and getting to be around lots of the attractive women and famous musos didn't have its upsides.., but I longed for real independence.
Last edited by bambooneedle on Sun Jun 19, 2005 12:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
Mr. Misery
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Post by Mr. Misery »

But he wouldn't dare call Oscar De La Hoya "unctuous" to his face!
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I've had you so many times but somehow I want more.
LittleFoole
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Post by LittleFoole »

Better than dreaming that he was yer mum :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
what, with his three nipples and pointy, stinky, shiny shoes, picking you up in a freakin' minivan ;) j/k
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

Well, I started off being palmed off with "hey, here's $20... go take that girl and the 356 Speedster to the beach with a 750mL bottle of Brainfuck brand bourbon and whatever bite she wants"... The asshole could bribe me.

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He knew I wanted to be in the Imposters action but would frustrate my efforts to be in, so I grew indifferent with it all as I'm wont to do with anyone wasting my time.

Alright, I'd fucked just about every girl in my viscinity and I wasn't short of my own cash, yet he was still trying to keep the hooks in me... do this, do that. Well, I never had a mother, no breastfeeding... none of that, just the string of unattainable, sometimes predominantly titilating, funny, or strange women at his disposal trying at various times in their various ways to be pleasantly real mainly. I'm sure he wasn't ready to see me coming to have the calibre of women that I'd been with lately. We'd baffle the astutest beasts, and I'd seen some floundering and waste of seed. So indeed had he, but he wasn't going to be easily upstaged by anyone, let alone by one of his own.

I needed my own action. Had popped out at the worst possible time, upon the release of Goodbye Cruel World when dad had made among others the major mistake of neglecting the potential hit Girl Fight, which may have led him in a new direction after EDIWTB. The biological mother, "the hot freckled blonde", it must be said, was something of a known floosie... thus I was born. Dad told me that afterwards she came out to the backyard with just a smoke, his leather jacket, a g-string and scuffed high heels ducking down in mid conversation about green issues from the swing to take a piss like a torrent into the dirt. He had to fork out in lean years to keep me at school through some mysterious and probably non-existent mental disease that must have just gone away. I never believed in it, but I wouldn't anymore feel in any way indebted if I took off from the current circus.

Now in 2006 he was proving again that he could still 'do' the rooting of girls her age then. Now, he was going out to get the 'buy 3 get 5' offer of Brainfuck bourbon, never mind the Tae Bo, and the studio was abound with they and the bourbon and whatever else with the Imposters rocking up a storm.

I had some dignity left so I left in the Beetle to find my own pad.

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mood swung
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Post by mood swung »

Well, I never had a mother, no breastfeeding...

mother substitute?
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beetles are kind of boob-shaped.
Like me, the "g" is silent.
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bambooneedle
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Post by bambooneedle »

Yes Mood, much more so than one of those Skylines.

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Kissy Monster
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Post by Kissy Monster »

Little Foole you were really great on this thread!
"Don't need no Bible just look in my eyes."
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